Message From The Management

Dieses Thema im Forum "Smalltalk" wurde erstellt von Plinius, 27. Januar 2004.

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  1. Plinius

    Plinius Viertel Gigabyte

    Dear BDC's,

    Welcome back to the office.
    Please be advised that there are new rules and regulations implemented
    to raise the efficiency of our company.

    ATTIRE: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your
    salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers & carrying a Gucci bag we
    assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a
    raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money
    better, so
    that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise.
    If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and Herefore
    you do not need a raise.

    PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.
    They are called Saturday & Sunday.

    LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat
    more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes
    for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat
    people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to
    drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

    SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of
    sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to

    RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.
    There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of
    three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract,
    the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second
    offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board
    under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

    SURGERY As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
    You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have
    something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

    Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
    positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,
    concernes, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,
    insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation
    and input should be directed elsewhere.

    Have a nice day.


  2. gainmarv

    gainmarv Megabyte

    wo arbeitest du?

    ich tippe mal auf siemens... :D
  3. Kokomiko

    Kokomiko Guest

  4. dieschi

    dieschi CD-R 80


    Ist lustiger als das Original ...
    :auslach: :volldoll:

    Liest sich wie die Bedienungsanleitung meines alten Videorecorders :totlach: ...
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